Family 2013

Family 2013
Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Freedom day-leaving all the familiar ,facing reality

 checking out HIS new clothes

 He wanted to just take the bag and leave. He didnt realize he had to leave his "old skin" behind. In the orphanage you leave with literally the skin on your body. Old clothes, down to underwear and socks you can not take. All new clothes to start a new life.
 A man we see eating out of the dumpster every few days. I share this to be sure you remember this COULD BE THE FUTURE of many of the orphans who age out of the orphanage. If they dont have a drive to learn a skill or career, if they fall victim to abuse or alchol , this will be them. It is a sad everyday site. Eating out of dumpster to LIVE.

 Look at how skinny his leg is at 8 1/2 years old. He is one skinny kid.

 Sasha got to play with his buddy little A one last time. Really sweet kid. I am praying his forever family finds him. Everyday in this envirorment damages these kids horribly.

 Wide eyed driving in the Machina! He chanted Machina, machina ,machina as every . car. passed :)

 Relaxing for a minute with Giana
 Celebrating Sasha's Gotcha day with friends out to dinner :):)
Halya, our facilitator, Lindy and Guy House, Me and Giana, sasha , then Wil and His new son, Laura his wife, Sergey their translator and their other new son is on the end, hidden :)
Halya and us :)

I would LOVE to tell you Sasha fell asleep dreaming happy dream all peaceful his first night . But that would be a huge lie.
He struggled horribly. He was scared, and mad, and totally freaked out. It was awful. Awful. Did I say awful???
He rocked, and stimmed, and bit his hands, he banged his head over and over hard! He spit at me, he hit me, and he picked his nose and tried to wipe it on me while growling like a crazy person. He pooped in his pants.

Too much info?

This is the reality.

These beautiful awesome kids are broken and scared. They have zero coping skille. Zero life or family skills. He cant understand me. He has been abused and neglected. Every single sound or smell or sight totally and completely overwhelms his senses.

Around midnight I begged my facilitator Halya to take him to her room. I was scared and so freaked out. I could NOT help him to relax.
She could. He slept. Finally after midnight....

Happy first night free.

Things were much the same the second night. I have been blessed with amazing new friends. Wil and his wife offered to come over and help me. He prayed over Sasha and spoke powerful affirming words over him, all while being in the throws of a battle. It was tough. But it helped to ease Sashas fears.
Now bedtime is NOT a scary battle. He lays down, we read, look at his photo album and pray. He rocks and stims but not violently. Then he goes to sleep.

One day at a time.
But the battle is far from won. The demons he battles are still here. The damage still needs to heal.
He spasms and twitches and chants, and grunts and moans. He rocks. He does bang his head when frustrated or mad. Or sad.
But he does smile. And he does seem to enjoy his new freedom.

We have issues each day. I see glimpses of improvement too. This has been a really hard journey. It will continue to be a hard journey. I really need prayers for Sasha to continue to heal. To trust. To over come.

I need prayers also. To remember to be calm and full of grace
. I was not ready for the reality of how broken and damaged a child can become in 2 years . The battle to heal him.
I am a work in progress. God pushes us harder and harder so we HAVE to lean on him.
I have to lean. I cry, and I pray.

We have been here 7 weeks. I am SO TOTALLY tired and homesick. I want to hug ALL my babies.

Please advocate and pray for all the kids I posted about. They are all so deserving of getting a family and a chance at a real life!

Sorry for any errors, Im not spell checking or re reading. Too tired :)


Jane@flightplatformliving said...

oh my, this post has me in tears, i think partly because this is my night time every night with my own daughter who has smith magenis syndrome...night is scary and she has no coping strategies for it either!!your war is a familiar one it is one that i know, i ccan see, smell and hear your is my own nightly pain too!! i will pray so hard for you my dear friend and your beautiful little boy! Oh how much have you blessed us all on this journey! How many faces, how much new knowledge you have shared...its hope for all these children!!! you have been a voice of hope and we all thank you! We will pray you home as fast and as peacefully as possible to your other babies for that hug! praying xxxx ( i added Samantha and Kristina into my weekly forget-me-not friday link up gallery...i linked to your blog posts, I hope thats ok x)

Maria and Family said...

Thank u Jane! That means so much.

Monica said...

Congratulations on your new son! Please tell us more about the kids you met. We must get the word out about them, so that they can all find families.


Lisa L. said...

Just wondering if you would be so kind as to update us on how he is doing.

Lisa L. said...

Just wondering how your little guy is doing.

Katie said...

hi falvo family - i keep checking back hoping for updates! i am sure the adjustment has been ongoing and life is busy with lots of kids, but would love love love to know how your sasha is doing! (i fell in love with the little girl sasha in your previous post and am thrilled that she is home now too!) just wanted to share that i still think of you all, wonder how you are doing and keep you in my prayers. God bless! ~Katie

Katie said...

i hope you will return and update your blog - i've been longing to see updates on mr sasha! i hope things are going well for all of you! best wishes and prayers for your whole family! :-)

"...Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows that we know, and holds us responsible to ACT..." Proverbs 24:12

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -(Mahatma Gandhi)