Family 2013

Family 2013
Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Keeping it R.E.A.L ~ and pictures!

oK. First you know  I love adoption and love and cherish ALL my kiddos. But well, there is an adjustment period...either with an infant or a 5 year old :) throw in a language barrier and being a very busy boy and well have some trying moments :)

Taya is doing amazing and is blossoming before our eyes. But along with all the blossoming, we have had some harder moments. in the beginning she is very delayed. I was generous when I stated she was at an  18 month old level :( It was more just being in love with her, I didn't want to admit how  delayed she was. But it was more like  6-8 month old. She couldn't hold a bottle, crawl or walk, or talk. She is 4 1/2 yrs old. She weighed 21 #s. It was like picking up and carrying 20 #s of  newborn baby. NO muscle tone at all. Floppy. She didn't really interact unless pushed too, then she would be interested but in a very slow calm way.  She did like to be held and music would engage her. She was pretty much non-verbal except for a growl or loud scream like shriek when upset or angry mostly at mealtimes.  It could be draining :( But she slept like a champ :)  And is very sweet natured and learning to be loved and smile when we smile at her :) She has learned to sign "more" for food so less growling .She is our little flower. And I wouldn't change a thing :)

Benji is very outgoing and loves to give hugs and be hugged. to everyone, so boundaries are being learned.  He talks up a storm , in Russian ;)  Language is a bit of a problem. His issues are more physical , as in he is a ball of motion, and to correct him takes a bit of charades and lots of patience. He is OBSESSED with food. It can be irksome :(  (being honest) when you are cooking and he keeps coming up and kissing your leg and looking at you with doe eyes, hoping to get some of the food before meal time.He eats 3 good meals a day with several healthy snacks so  he isn't hungry, he just thinks he is.  I know he is working a system he has survived on, so I get it but sometimes it bugs me. He eats every meal like the house is on fire !I try to give him a bit less, so I can give him seconds when he is done so he doesnt think everyone has food and his plate is empty. Or a piece of bread or fruit.  And if you aren't watching closely he will steal food off anyone plate he can reach!  That's fun at mealtime :)  So when he does I make him put back whatever I can pull out of his mouth, and try to explain "his plate, his food" "Boos plate, Boos food" it is getting better but still happened this morning. I was feeding Taya, and turned to see Benji with my breakfast sandwich shoved ALL in his mouth under the table :(
~He will eat dog food and bird seed. He knows he shouldn't since he takes it and goes behind things to eat it :(
~He has to be supervised at all times, which is normal considering he is learning to make choices and learn what is off limits.
~He will knock over or throw just about anything if excited so we have to be careful to end, wild play before it gets out of hand.
~He sleeps well and is potty trained thru the day :):)
~He wakes up EARLY and will climb the baby gates and get into mischief so we are working on a new system.
~He is sweet and gently with everyone and has a sweet heart :)

While I was blogging this, Benji took his bathing suit off-and pooped in the baby pool :(  oye... everyone outta da pool :)

Just want you to know every child will come home with different things that will require adjustments so don't be freaked out :) this too shall pass ;)


And MOST IMPORTANT my kids all love each other :):)


Becca said...

Ah, Maria, your children are all just soooo beautiful. Love this post. You've got such a positive and giving spirit. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! :-)

Jodi said...

Now THAT sounds more like MY house!

Ha ha.

You are blessed :)

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Love that you are honest!!! It helps me pray more specifically :)

You inspire me, and I love that you can't get enough of your children either....behaviors and all :)

KSL64 said...

Great Post Maria! I love your honesty. Seeing all your children together brings me such joy - especially with such big smiles. I also like all the "new" things - a mohawk, glasses, Bug's blog ...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Organize Me Central said...

Great post, Maria!! People need to know the reality of older child/special needs adoption so they don't feel alone when things are not all roses. But it is so worth it! You and your children are so blessed. Soon these days will be just a memory & you'll laugh about the time Benji poo-ed in the pool :-) Bless you for sharing your heart! I know it's a risk to put yourself out there, but it will encourage so many. Big hugs!! Beth

Gretchen Thibault said...

OOOH.....busy (crazy) and wonderful! Sounds like my house. It is worth it...but tiring...right?!

The kids look great. Whoever they are, they are and will be wonderful....just as God made them:)

Mel said...

Sounds like Benji gave Timothy some lessons before they came home!! He yells, throws things, etc too. He also pinches, pulls hair, and tries to bite. Its all a test though and he'll learn... we just have to be patient and keep showing them the "right" way to play and show their frustrations. All of your kiddos are beautiful Maria!! I can't wait to meet them(we'll be in FL next yr)!! Keep doing what you're doing!! Love ya!!

gaby said...

Beautiful post, beautiful pictures. Love all of you!!!

jody said...

I am thinking my Zoe and your Benji might be the same person. Yes, really. That girl is a one woman wrecking crew...and a huge food spaz. Ugh, it is irksome and wearying, but I am just glad that you and I are here to be bothered about it and these kiddos are not living as orphans somewhere behaving like this b/c there is no one to tell them not to...hugs to you and hang in there-isn't the good sleep thing the most miraculous gift from God ever???? He knows he can only stretch a mama so far ;)

Anonymous said...

Gaby said it all....
Beautiful post, beautiful pictures. Love all of you!!!

Anonymous Nana :)

Kelly said...

It is great to see pictures of all your kiddos together. I appreciate your honesty on the day to day--

Mama said...

I really needed to read this! My hubby and I are in Serbia right now finishing up the adoption of our son. My heart is heavy and brain is fried because of it all. Our boy is 6 but developmentally so much younger. To a new mommy, this is a lot to handle. I needed the "this too shall pass" statement. I might have to repeat that to myself several thousand times over the next couple months.

Faith for Hope said...

Beautiful family. We are new and trying to learn as much as we can from others. I also posted on your daughters blog. That is such an awesome idea... sweet spirit. We are hoping to commit soon. Prayers appreciated. ~ Grace P.

Katrina @ said...

"More kids are like dessert; never enough"

Oh, how I love that quote, and I so agree!
I'm the momma to nine blessings, all bio children, yet my heart has been lead to adopt through Reece's Rainbow beginning when I first stumbled upon their website a couple years ago. I have fallen in love with many from RR and wanted them so, so badly....but my husband has not yet been lead toward adoption, especially a child with special needs. He doesn't think we can "handle" the demands of a special needs child, that the stresses would be too much for us, but I feel so differently. However, I have to be patient for him to be lead by God. It's nothing I can force upon him, nor should I even try. (I can gently nudge him, though...can't I? LOL) I know adoption would have it's challenges, but the rewards would far outweigh them.

All of your children are beautiful. What a blessing!

"...Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows that we know, and holds us responsible to ACT..." Proverbs 24:12

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -(Mahatma Gandhi)