Family 2013

Family 2013
Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Day 2- seeing the reality of orphanages

Day 2-
We got up today at 6 am to meet our driver and make it to the social workers office when she arrived to ask her to come to the “camp” with us to start the process. She was an hour late arriving. Of course. So we sit. And wait.
We drove over to his orphanage "V" . We had papers signed by the director there , picked up the lawyer, then off to his Camp orphanage way out in "M". About another 1 ½ hours...
away. THANKFULLY the Lord has taken pity on me and my weakness to extreme heat . We woke to a beautiful breezy morning. MUCH cooler.  
We stopped at a road side stand to buy grapes from a farmer. They are wonderful. Also ripe tomatoes , all for $3.40
When we arrived at the camp orphanage another family was also there to meet a little boy they requested from a blind referral. He is a beautiful child. Sadly they may not come back for him. I heard them ask their translator to ask him what musical instruments he played! I swear I choked… Im thinking, I wonder umm..can my little one hold a pencil lol! Stupid people. Where in this poor setting  do you SEE any musical instruments?!? They didn’t even bring a toy or a book for him to interact with them. Not well prepared for this reality I think. They only brought an ipad. Well he doesn’t know what to do with it, and he was a bit rough with it which they were not thrilled with.

Our little guy really didn’t pay any attention to us today. He was over whelmed with all the people in the room and toys to explore. If he sees a broken toy he becomes very agitated over
It. He seems to be upset someone broke it. Then he makes this noise like keeeekeeekee then bites his hand :(
We did get him to settle and sit, and he played stickers with Giana. At first it was not a skill he had. But after a few tries he would show Giana which sticker to remove and she would hand it to him, then he would slowly put it on the paper matching up ones that looked alike! Pretty smart. He made little groups on the paper. As he relaxed the stimming with his hand stopped and he was able to use his right hand a bit , although it is weaker then his left. But the curling and uncurling of his fingers seemed to stop. We tried coloring next. He either cannot or would not hold a crayon. He did pick up a piece of paper and made motions that seemed to say “hey make me a plane” so Michael made a paper airplane for him and he was thrilled! He would throw it nice and easy and smooth. Very impressive. He would even smooth out the folds each time so it would continue to fly. The social worker wanted him back in the main room, so as we went back in I took out the robot that lights up and more stickers. Sweet little Sasha girl ( what a little love she is!) came over so I pulled out a puzzle and worked on it with her for a bit. Next the little boy who had a family considering him came over and took the robot. Our Sasha spied the baby push toy in the corner and off he went. He became obsessed with pushing it back and forth up the hallway. After about 15 minutes I asked him to put it back and he turned away. He clearly didn’t want me to take it. I had to and he became upset with me. He laid on the floor and had a tiny little tantrum. I told him Nyet Vova! He sat up , then turned his back on me. When we went back in, it was time to go. I tried to hug him and he pushed me away and wouldn’t even look at me. I sat down and was petting his arms and talking to him but he kept pushing me away and turning away from me When a caregiver came over and talked to him , he started to cry and was staying Nyet Nyet ..his tears showed me how tiny and vulnerable he really is. Broke my heart for him.
Our facilitator came and spoke to him. He was upset because he didn’t want to go back to his room. Not that we were leaving…..
I have realized that after 3 moves in less than 2 years our little guy has been hurt and has a bit of Institutional Autism , maybe cerebral palsy too?  Very sad to realize that damage that has been done to him. I have changed my way of thinking, to wrap my head around the changes. He is no longer a typical child with some special needs. He is now a special needs child who needs time and love to heal . The little affectionate boy with the quick smile is no longer easy to find.
Heart breaking.
But he is not lost. We can find him again.
I have to believe we can heal his heart. I have no idea what medical conditions he has, why his hand curls and twitches, why his speech is bad ,why his eye is cloudy or why he is much thinner than the other children, why he seems to not hear well.  I don’t know what he has been through. And really we don’t care. We can only love him. We will treat what we can .
And just love him.

 Kids eating lunch. They had potato  soup :)
 This is little "S" she is 9 years old and is a doll baby. She had epilepsy and some behavior issues. I know with love and security, and the RIGHT medical care she will thrive! Her personality is AMAZING.

 This is the baby walker our little guy became obsessed with. Was not happy when I had to put it away.
 Happy family picture :) Little "S" wanted in and I could not leave her out. She wants a mama of her own SO badly. She has been passed over many times and it is heartbreaking.
 Love :):)
His little eye is cloudy :( the other eye probably doesnt have strong vision either. But he sure is CUTE! So glad we finally found him again!
Stickers were a new concept but he was really enjoying them! He gave us a bit of a smile here. He seems very unsure of my praise just yet. But it will come. We will find him again :)

So many kids here that NEED families. They have been forgotten. I will share all their faces soon. I need your help to find families for them!  NO child should live scared and alone.


Katie said...

When you get him home, have the doctor check inside his ears really good. I remember reading about someone who adopted from Africa whose child had tons and tons of cotton removed from the ear canal because the nannies used to shove it in there for one reason or another (so they wouldn't disturb each other? I don't know). I don't know if that happens in EE but it's worth checking out.

Also, the sweet little girl in your photos - is she listed on RR?

DJ Jazzy Jeff said...

So sad! Again and again I question why this happens to sweet children :(

Praying the rest of your adoption goes much smoother than the 1st few days! So happy your little man has your family to love him!

Denise Kujat said...

I have everyone I can praying for you guys. I am so sorry things have gone this way for you.I pray for an easier resolve for you soon and hope you can get home to start healing your little boy.Chin up,much love coming your way <3

Julia said...

NO... How could they leave one behind??? I will never ever understand that... Oh it hurts my heart to know that one was not chosen. Please get those kids listed so we can shout from the rooftops for them!! So so glad you chose to go back..

Jo's Corner said...

"Every thing is going to be alright"! I just felt the Lord speak that to my heart. And, then I glanced over and saw tiny, sweet Taiya when she was SO sick in U. And, I prayed and prayed for Baby Girl.. look at what He has done for her! Your Boy will grow and thrive in your home! I promise. Be strong, Sweet Friend. Hug all of those who need so desperately need to be hugged.
Love you! ~ Jo

Unknown said...

You all are in my prayers. So heartwrenching to hear of what you are facing, but I know God's hand is in this, and soon you will have your little boy and be heading home!!He is a real cute boy, and I know he will thrive with all the love and brothers and sisters. The little girl Sasha is such a sweet looking little girl....she melted my heart at first glimpse, hug her for me! All my love to you and Mike!!

Nancy Cusumano said...

oops, that last message was from Nancy

"...Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows that we know, and holds us responsible to ACT..." Proverbs 24:12

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -(Mahatma Gandhi)