Believe it or not, life with this cutie is not perfect. I'm sure some of the issues are mine....some just baby stuff, and a bit her strong personality. I dont really think it is adoption related per say...her bond to me is strong. She knows her family vs. strangers or friends. Actually that is part of the issue I am having. She is very fickle when anyone comes too close or tries to engage her. She crinkles up her nose and when she opens her little mouth a blood curdling cry comes out. Could be walking in the park, or at a store. Even if Daddy or my sister tries to take her from me....all he** breaks out. AND once she starts shrieking and crying, it takes me awhile to calm her back down. I went shopping with my mom yesterday, just to the fabric store (have a surprise coming) grocery store for a few things. I usually have baby girl in the sling, but she was super wiggly so I put her in the cart. My mom started to push it, and she started crying....so I pulled out her bottle and my mom (trying to bond with her) tried to give it to her. Well no thank you ma'am!! She got quite mad and started shrieking. So much that we left the store :( I popped into the grocery store to grab some teething gel hoping to help her a bit (top teeth are slooowly coming in) and she did ok in the sling until, I ran into a friend and stopped to chat a second. She started again, and didnt stop until I got her in the car, THEN she took her bottle. I cant imagine how odd all this must be for her. She has done AMAZING, but this only mama , all the time, or the shrieking starts is ...well, hard!
~bedtime was getting draining too. She goes to sleep pretty easy after her bottle and I lay her in her moses basket or bouncy seat (autumn ignore the last part ;) near my bed. I dont come to bed for awhile but she started waking every 20 mins or so screaming for me. My hubby cant console her, she justs gets mad, so I have to keep getting up rocking her back to sleep, then go back and try to relax or get back to whatever I was doing. Its so weird because she naps in the afternoon, for a solid 2 hrs. By the time I come to bed she had woken up about 5 times !Then she wakes up about 3 times for a bottle thru the night on the bed w/us. OH she also has this fun idea that every couple days its time to get up around 3-5 am and it takes about an hour to get her back to sleep. I was starting to look a bit like a zombie....and felt like one.
So, I decided to put her to sleep at nap time awake after her bottle and song, to get her used to hanging without me. The first morning she cried for about an hour straight, but I went in and patted her every 5 -10 minutes. After an hour she fell asleep the next morning I did the same thing and it took her about 20 minutes to fall asleep and I patted her a few times so she knew I was there. The third morning she fell asleep within minutes and didn't cry once ! Partly her cry was just pure mad ....you can tell when she is being strong willed and not sad. This was hard for me, because I am an attachment parent all the way, but sometimes you have to change things a bit to make things easier in the long run. Anyway the 2nd night she only woke 1 time between 9pm and 12 when I came to bed :) :) so it is helping a bit. I DO NOT RECOMMEND CRYING IT OUT for any baby in any situation. They must be home a few months and be secure. I truly felt she was ready to start sleeping alone a bit and it would help her. which it did. You have to know your baby is bonded and will not be scared or you could do more damage then good. Just wanted to be honest so folks know, there are good and bad times, even when things are great :) Especially for first time parents . Its ok to say you're tired and pooped out :) Heck I am , and we are on #4 :) But I love it !!!
~We missed our drs appt Friday due to NO sleep the night before...I am on the fence , should I go to our regular ped or make an appt for an international ped which is a 2 hr drive away? The rattling and potty issues are making me feel awful for her and bad as a mommy :(
Boo and Renee
We went to the park w/ my friend Jess and her kiddos. It was a nice breezy day :)
Baby girl in her first park swing ride !
Jess's little guy and Tatiana. They are about a month apart.
He is such a cute lil chunk !! :)
Happy Bug
Jessica's little guy (at 24 #s ;) do you remember he had a cleft lip when he was born? It looks amazing.
Baby girl catching some zzzz's at the park
When we first got to the park, it started raining. I figured we would wait it out after all the effort it takes to actually GET to the park with 4 kiddos :) The rain passed pretty quick and it was a breezy day.
Remember the brown crib I bought on craigslist for $50?? well we are finally painting it !!! It is going to look just beautiful when its done.
I love the wood white, it looks a bit aged which is pretty.
~I started this post this morning around 8am...LOL it is now 3:30 ! Yes things do change when you have a baby in the house :)
Have a wonderful day !! :)
5 comments:
definitely a change and it is really hard when they only want "mama". We worked really hard with Emily who was so different than our other three and had to get her to allow everyone to help her and not just mom. The hardest part is being mom and saying "I can't do this 24 hours a day" and I didnt' want to admit it but coudln't keep it up either! She adjust amazingly well and no, we never did the "cry it out" for bedtime either. We rocked them with a bottle and songs and then to bed when sleeping and then gradually moved toward going to sleep while awake and falling asleep on their own but it took awhile!
Thanks! I hate that so many people are scared to post about the hard stuff and integrating a new child into a family always has hard times. It will get easier. Maybe not soon enough but it will get easier. Hugs!!!
Maria- this post isn't just about adopted baby stuff....I could have written a similar post after having our second child....she STILL is a strong willed lil lady!
Tommy NEVER let anybody bottle feed him after the NICU. EVen in there the nurses realized he preferred me to feed him. He only took bottles from daddy when totally desperate! ANd never from anybody else. THAT was hard. During these hard times we have to remember it's not forever and the moment they take to somebody else taking care of their needs we miss it! ANyhow, hang in there. They grow so fast and you'll look back and miss this age/stage.
I don't agree with crying it out, BUT we used teh book Baby Wise and it really helped, it's more of sleep training and checking on them, patting their back and such as you posted about. While Tommy was in the NICU it was cool to see the NICU schedule is identical to the Baby Wise book method.
Sweet Pea was the same way!! He just ending up sleeping with us. lol. I think a lot of it has to do with the particular child's personality. You just have to do what is best for your child and your family.
And she is soooooo beautiful!!!!!
I think, for me at least, there is an added sense of guilt because Elyssa is adopted. Whenever I get frustrated or feel overwhelmed with her behavior or care, I find myself thinking "this is the little girl I waited 17 years for; I should never feel upset", etc. It's hard not to feel like "I asked for this by choosing to adopt" & like I can't feel frustrated or tired or overwhelmed. But raising a child, especially those baby/toddler years are so hard & exhausting, esp. when they only want Mom to do stuff....but as you also know - they are so wonderful & fun & enjoyable at the same time!
I hope you are able to figure out something that will work to give yourself a break. She is just adorable & I know you feel so blessed...it's ok to feel frustrated, too :-) We are only human, after all ;-)
Hugs,
Beth
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